Learning to Love?

Saturday, 2 May 2009

Thank you Sister Cathy for forwarding this to me. Maybe the Lord wants me to hear this. You didn't know it is my second wedding anniversary today.

I wish I have learnt this and your presentation on the five languages of love when I was young and single. I guess there is a reason for everything that had happened.......... and it is never too late to learn.

This is a very good article, read it.
Those who are still single may learn something from here....
Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage....

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question.
She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love...

Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet." Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON. IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right die and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Mum said "Don't Waste"

View this movie at cultureunplugged.com

Monday, 20 April 2009

This morning 2 friends forwarded me the same video. I got teary towards the end. When we were little, our mum would always reminded us not to waste our food and think of people who can't afford to buy food.

Thank you Karen and thank you Tan for sharing the video.

The Weather Report

Saturday, 11 April 2009

This morning I receiving an inspiration poem, by B.J. Gallagher, and I want to share it with you. I hope I will remember to say "Great" even though I don't feel that way, so that I can make it so. Isn't that lying?

"Any day I'm vertical
is a good day"
...that's what I always say.

If you ask me,
"How are you?"

I'll answer, "GREAT!"
because in saying so,
I make it so.

When Life gives me dark clouds and rain,
I appreciate the moisture
that brings a soft curl to my hair.

When Life gives me sunshine,
I gratefully turn my face up
to feel its warmth on my cheeks.

When Life brings fog,
I hug my sweater around me
and give thanks for the cool shroud of mystery
that makes the familiar seem different and intriguing.

When Life brings snow,
I dash outside to catch the first flakes on my tongue,
relishing the icy miracle that is a snowflake.

Life's events and experiences
are like the weather -
they come and go,
no matter what my preference.

So, what the heck?!
I might as well decide to enjoy them.

For indeed,
there IS a time for every purpose
under Heaven.

And every season brings its own unique blessings.

Someday When We are Wiser .......

Sunday, 29 March 2009

I have been wondering how I can have music in my blog and I am so happy I did it all by myself. "Someday" by the Celtic Woman, is one of my favorites.



Someday, when we are wiser
When the world's older
When we have learned
I pray someday we may yet
Live to live and let live

Someday, life will be fairer
Need will be rarer
And greed will not pay
Godspeed, this bright millenia
On it's way, let it come someday

Someday our fight will be won, and
We'll stand in the sun, in
That bright afternoon
'Til then, on days when the sun
Is gone, we'll hang on
If we wish upon the moon

There are some days, dark and bitter
Seems we haven't got a prayer
But a prayer for something better
Is the one thing we all share

Someday, when we are wiser
When the whole world is older
When we have love
And I pray someday we may yet
Live to live and one day, someday
Someday life will be fairer
Need will be rarer
And greed will not pay

Godspeed this bright millenia
Let it come
If we wish upon the moon

One day, someday....soon

Who is the most important person (mortal beings) in your life?

Friday, 27 March 2009

Who is the most important person (mortal beings) in your life? There had been times in my life when I have answered (1) my mother (2) my husband (3) my children. I didn't think of "me".

"Isn't that selfish?" Haven't we been taught that when we put others first before our own needs, we would be blessed with joy and happiness? On the other hand, aren't we blessed with the freedom to choose our course of actions?

Are we willing to sacrifice ourselves? Are we willing to forgo our interests for another? Are we willing to go along with another's ideas or plans (just to keep peace) even though we felt no confidence in them?

I realized that the most important person in my life, on earth, is myself. I don't think loving oneself is selfish because if we don't love the persons we are, how can we be truly happy? And when we are not happy, our health would be affected. And when we are not happy and not healthy how can we even service others what more to say love others fully?

There are 2 quotes from Anne Morrow Lindbergh that say:
When one is a stranger to oneself,
then one is estranged from others too.
If one is out of touch with oneself,
then one cannot touch others.

Mistake Unnoticed???

Sunday, 15 March 2009

Nobody came to me and tell me that the skirt was worn wrongly. I would guess that it was not obvious because of the floral print. Maybe those who have noticed just smile and didn't care less. I really don't know.

It is not like I have not worn this skirt before. Today I didn't check the label for guidance. Labels are worn to the back if I am not wrong. The label of this particular skirt is together with the zip. And so this skirt was supposed to be zipped to the back and not to the left hip. I also forgot to check the cuttings as well!

It was at home when I looked at the pictures taken after the church meetings, that I realised something was wrong. The lining of the skirt, captured in this picture, fortunately was only in this picture due to me leaning against the car.

Mike said he didn't notice so I guess I looked okay! Where is my mind again? I know Lian and Yean would shake their heads and exclaimed "Mum.. Mum.."

Open Toilet

Friday, 13 March 2009

11 months ago I posted about a public toilet. Here is another public toilet and for me a funny one as well. It would be interesting to see the expression of all the ladies, including yours truly, who entered this restroom.



There was no sign on the door to say that it was under maintenance. I walked into the room to discover that a wall missing and that it was opened to the cleaning section! I just can't help laughing to myself. A lady thought it was funny too walking into this particular "restroom".

Vitreous Hemorrhage

Tuesday, 11 March 2009

Mike drove (it was a 3 hour drive) me to see the retina specialist (Anthony De Beus, MD) that the Yuma Ophthalmologist referred to yesterday, at the Southwestern Eye Center (5251 West Campbell Suite 102, Phoenix, AZ 85031).

The retina specialist couldn’t see any tear in my retina or find the problem that caused the ‘oil floater', and therefore could not fix the problem. He asked that I come for review on the 14 April 2009 when he comes to visit Yuma. Until then, if I see more floaters or dark shade descending (which is a sign of retina detachment), to seek medical attention from the Ophthalmologist immediately. His diagnosis was Vitreous Hemorrhage.

He said it is common with people who are near-sighted like me! He said the floater would slowly fade away over time, between 2 to 6 months. My goodness!!!! If it is really annoying and I can't stand it, surgery can be performed to clean up the floater but he wouldn't recommend it unless it is very necessary.

Retinal Detachment

Monday, 9 March 2009

Because it was not advisable to take chances, I was advised to go straight to the Emergency Department at Yuma Regional Medical Centre (2400 South Avenue A, Yuma, AZ 85365, 928-336-7100). A physician (Jennifer Gray, FNP) examined and diagnosed me with Retinal Detachment.

Since there was no eye specialist there, I was referred to a Ophthalmologist (Eric Farber, MD) at Southwestern Eye Center (2149 West 24th Street, Yuma, AZ 85364, 928-726-4120). He said the ‘oil floater’ that I saw was blood. However he could not find any ruptured blood vessels or torn in my retina. He said I should see the retina specialist who would be in Yuma this Friday. Michael said he would rather take me to see him tomorrow and so asked where the retina specialist would be tomorrow.

Posterior Vitreous Detachment

Sunday, 8 March 2009

About 7:50 pm, I emerged out of my night gown and saw a few lines of black thread in my right eye. I thought some thread had come out of my gown. I looked down at my gown but there were no threads tangling down. I looked at my glasses. They were clear. I covered my right eye with my right hand. My left eyes were clear. I covered my left eye with my left hand. I saw those threads again but this time look like cobwebs of black oil floating in a pool of tiny tiny drops of water. From information that I found in the internet, I thought I have posterior vitreous detachment. I told Mike and he said we would call for appointment with a ophthalmologist tomorrow morning. What I was scare of is retina detachment which happens to people with high myopia, like me.

Treasure in the Junk Mail

Wednesday, 4 March 2009

Luckily for the Hotmail, there are not as many as the Yahoo or the Google, otherwise I would have delete them all with a few clicks.

This is probably the 3rd time I found a friend in the Junk. A friend, whose new address, is not yet listed in my contacts.

She wrote: Hi! Guess who l m? l bought a laptop about 3 weeks ago, so far only know how to e mail, ............................................

It was her subject title that caught my eye. It was how we met. It was what we did together. It was what causes misunderstandings between us, but ultimately strengthen our relationship.

I have been thinking about her a lot lately and missing her.

Return to Sender AGAIN!

Tuesday, 2 March 2009

Today I received a returned Christmas card from friends.

One year ago, I was annoyed by the Postal Services as regards to mail, that were addressed to me 100 percent correctly, but were not delivered to me for I don't know what reason - maybe terrorism because I don't bear an Caucasian last name.

It happened again in December 2008. A Christmas card was returned to friends in Oklahoma. They showed to me the returned envelope when I visited them.

The address was correct. The Post Services yellow label on the envelope said:
Return to Sender
Not Deliverable As Addressed
Unable to Forward

I called the Post Services and they took down my name(s). I wonder if this happens to other people. I can only remarked "Stupid". Whatever the policy is, it is definitely not clever. Address correct, name alien, if there is a threat inside, dictating device would be incorporated in the system.

Interestingly, we received mail that were addressed to people that we have no idea of, which I marked "Unknown" and left them in the mail box for the delivery man to collect. Sometimes you wonder what the heck is going on. Racial discrimination? I can only remarked again "Stupid". Maybe I should give myself a local Penname.

Teddy Bears

Friday, 9 January 2009

I guess I am attracted by teddy bears!

This is in the Kuala Lumpur International Airport.

And this is a Christmas decoration in Yuma Foothills, Arizona, USA.

Thanksgiving Day Indeed!

Thursday, 27 November 2008

I kept thinking about the experience this day. Mike was driving at 80 m.p.h and the surface of the highway was wet. It had rained heavily the previous night and it was raining a little that morning.

It happened so fast. I had not tried a tea cup ride in any theme parks before because I don't like the look of the movements, but after the 3 and a half circle skid on the road, I felt like I was riding in a tea cup. Is that how a tea cup ride feels like? I really don't know. I associated that experience to a tea cup ride and I don't how why either.

It was so quick. I didn't feel afraid during that few seconds, because Mike was calm and was in control of the steering wheels. Luckily there wasn't any car in front of us. We ended facing backwards and neatly on the left side of the road. We sat there speechless, for a number of seconds, and watched a large truck coming towards us and passing us on our right side. I guess this was a common sight because the driver didn't stop to ask if we were okay. I am pretty sure he saw what had happened.

It was Thanksgiving Day. Thank God for all that He has blessed us with and all that He sees fit to bless us.

Behind the Kitchen Door

Monday, 8 September 2008

Here I go, rambling again. This family of dogs were barking at me outside the kitchen door. They were not huge but their barks were loud and piercing. If they knew I am a fan of dogs, they would have been friendly but I am not a regular visitor to their masters and they wouldn't stop barking until I was out of their sight! Luckily there was a netted fence otherwise they would be chasing me!

I found A Coin!

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

Computers, flowers, fruits, nuts, now it is money talk! I don't usually look down on the ground when I walked but today my eyes caught something that I thought it would be, embedded in the cement floor outside the shop.

Yes, I was right. It was a coin and it must have dropped onto the then newly poured cement mixture!

Horned Water Chestnuts

Tuesday, 16 September 2008

These black hard shells looked like bulls' heads. Maybe there is a legend behind the resemblance. They were about 2 inches wide and hard! According to a vendor in the Miri market, they were imported from China and only available once a year, around the Mooncake festival season (lunar month of August). I was told to boil it for about an hour. Opening them was not easy! Technically they are called water caltrop. They are called Ling Nuts as well.

Dragon Fruit and Brinjal are Both Fruits

Tuesday, 7 October 2008

For the 1st time I saw what a dragon fruit tree looked like.



Is brinjal (also known as eggplant or aubergine) a fruit or a vegetable? It is actually a fruit eaten as cooked vegetable! This pendulous purple colored brinjal is common.


These elongated oval shaped whitish-green brinjal is new to me. They taste as good, when cooked with anchovies or dried prawn or curry.

Hibiscus & Cannis Lilies

Friday, 26 September 2008

What would the earth be if there is no flowers? Gardening is not everyone's hobby but I think everyone enjoy the beauty that flowers radiate. Thanks to God for flowers. Today I am blessed to see different kinds of the hibiscus (Bunga Raya), the national flower of Malaysia, in the Kuching Friendship garden. I am captivated.

Once upon a time I noticed the red colored single petal hibiscus flower.



My eyes was blind to the white ones???


I like the multi-layers petals :) I think they are more beautiful - the red, purple and pink. I know there are many many colors.







There were also the cannis lilies in the Friendship Garden. I see the yellow, pink and red colored.

Without the Personal Computer

Saturday, 20 September 2008

Why the silence? What is going on? What have I been doing? Where have I been? Check my blog - Miri, Kuching. I haven't blog since my birthday!

August was buzzzzzzzzzzzzy, no time to blog and not in the mood to blog either! September, I had the time and mood to blog mood but no computer.

Here I go again................ what is like to have no personal computer to use?

I thought I could use other people's computers. I thought I could use my nephew's and my niece's. No wonder it is called a 'personal' computer.

Different computer have different settings. I don't feel comfortable using their computers to do anything else but check my email. I told my friends to stop forwarding me mail for the time being. I have no time to read forwards so I deleted most of them, since it is my habit to clean out the mail box. I replied to email but only with a few lines or so.

Worst experience was preparing my talk for a sacrament meeting. A friend's computer was working perfectly but she does not have a printer, so I saved my document in a thumbdrive. Took it to my nephew who has a printer but the computer couldn't read it nor any other documents of mine! Niece's computer is waiting to be reformatted. I was happy that my former classmate, a computer graduate, agreed to let me use her home computer, even though I have to come after 9:30 pm. That was okay, anytime so long as I can print out my talk for that Sunday. I can sleep in the next day. Happily I continued with my talk but unfortunately her (or her son's) printer wouldn't print at all. Her son said it wasn't working due to some virus. I felt disappointed but I had a good visit catching up with my classmate until 11:30 pm. The computer in her house was only used by her son so it was not surprising. My nephew, my niece and now my friend's son are all teenagers! Don't know where they surf in the internet!

I ended up handwriting the 10-12 mins talk. I didn't count how many times I had rewrite!

Computer does make life easier when it comes to preparing talk because you can edit them as many times you have to!

Someone said the computer is the devil's creation. I don't agree with that. It depends on how you use it. To me it is a blessing so far.